Although your parents have separated, you may still hope they will get back together. Getting used to the fact that their relationship has ended and meeting their new partners can be difficult but I am here to help.
Accepting the permanence of your parents’ decision to break up
Even though your parents may have been separated for a long time, it is not until you see them with new partners that you begin to accept that their relationship is really over.
You may still fantasise that your parents will end up getting back together. Letting go of this can be difficult but it is important to come to terms with and accept that your parents’ relationship has ended. Your family is still there, it has just changed shape.
Your parent feels that this is a chance for a new start in his or her life – you think the opposite. Your parent thinks that a new relationship will lead to positive changes for him or her – you see it as negative in relation to you.
Your parent may be ready to start a new relationship but you would probably prefer some time to pass before having to get to know their new partner. At whatever stage your parent decides to go out with other people, you will probably feel uncomfortable and embarrassed
Remember your parent will be feeling anxious and uneasy too. It will take a while for you to become relaxed with his or her new partner and for the partner to get familiar with you.
It can help to think of and treat a new partner as if he or she is one of your friends’ parents. You don’t have to like him or her, but you do need to show them respect in the same way you wish to be respected
Need some advice on coping with your parents’ new relationships?
If you want to talk about your parents’ separation or their new relationship or other changes in your family, you can get in touch with me, I am here to help.
Email Sandra or phone 087 224 9845 for confidential help.